World of Warcraft gold and Auction House blog

I give up. NSFW White Ribbon

I give up. NSFW White Ribbon

I’ve been trying to keep my personal life out of the wow gold blog. Readers want tips for making gold, not my blubbing and whining.

Since being in hospital, I’ve been writing all my posts with pencil on paper, then laboriously tapping them in to wordpress on my smartphone. I didn’t want to let you down. Also, it gives me something to focus on other than recent events. Do you know how hard it is to research a post/article without real internet, without WoW?

wpid IMAG0275 I give up. NSFW White Ribbon

But the truth is, I’m royally fucked up in the head right now. I still have some physical checks to go though. The good news is I’m healed without need for surgery. The bad news is I still need tests for nasties like HIV. Even though the animals held me for an hour, its my head that’s broken. I’m actually on suicide watch in hospital after 3 serious fails. This is the part of me that they literally tore apart. Some part of me died between 2nd and 3rd rape.

I’ve missed being involved in the community, I even missed the start of the Gold Speed Run I was so proud to help edit during October. I was looking forward to launching it.

It seems like the community has missed me too, despite my mediocre blog post attempts! So which of you is responsible for organising today’s utterly overwhelming white ribbon campaign? I recognised a white ribbon immediately – I donate to women’s charities. My nurse actually offered me Sedation (drugs? Yes please!) When I started weeping as the blogroll filled with white ribbon bandages. I am overwhelmed. My broken little head can’t take it in.

So I give in.
No more struggles to pretend I’m ok. I relax into the support you show. It’s ok not to be tough. I’m not ashamed to be broken and f_cked up.

If you are part of White Ribbon today, please post your link below. I want my readers to be staggered and overwhelmed like me at how strong this matrix of wow gold bloggers is.

I really hope the community is proud of itself. I love seeing you pull together.

Update: Below are many of the blogs that participated in today’s show of support.

wow white ribbon twitter 300x186 I give up. NSFW White Ribbon

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alyzsig 300x87 I give up. NSFW White Ribbon

55 Comments

  1. I’ve been absent and it deeply saddens me to read what happened to you. I’ll look into the White Ribbon movement and pour some love into it. I really hope the people that are near and dear to you give you the support you need.

    It’s a good thing that the mature part of the community stepped up regardless of earlier childish BS (that continues of course…)! Being united has always felt more interesting to me and that is why i’m choosy with whom I listen to and support.

    I’ll be around one way or another. Take care!
    Sincerely,
    Grayz

  2. Hey, Oligopoly of Warcraft Econ here. Hope you are recovering well. I’m still checking/approving comments here and there. The link list has been updated with White Ribbon’s direct tweet about this campaign. Take care.

  3. Hi :) , I came to this via the MMO Melting Pot. I don’t have a blog or anything I can post a white ribbon on, otherwise I would. I just wanted to with you well for your recovery, good luck to you. *hugs* Carolan

  4. Hope everything is well for you Aly! Happy Thanksgiving in advance! Here is the link to support you and the White Ribbon Campaign.
    http://amerencelovewow.blogspot.com/2011/11/white-ribbon-please-support-tgq.html God Bless always! =)

  5. Hope everything is well for you Aly! My support for you is posted as well, You can put me in the list if you can.
    Amerence Love WoW – White Ribbon: Please Give Support to TGQ! Thanks! and Happy Thanksgiving!

    • Added, thank you for your support.

  6. I’m so sorry for you, wish I could ease your burden. Unfortunately all I can do is say my thoughts are with you. Take care and keep your head up.
    Your Silvermoon chat pal.

  7. Blog is down but I’d white ribbon every tree on the block.

  8. You’ve all really helped me. Sorry if my replies are sporadic rambling or plain nonsense I’m still off my face on (legal) drugs

  9. Queen: I haven’t blogged for over 2 years … but I’ve posted a white ribbon on the front page of our guild website in support.

    Feel better. We miss you and wish you the best!

  10. I reworked Kathroman’s original “White Ribbon” image to add it to Power Word: Gold.

    I lightened up the ribbon to make it a bit more “white” as well as adding a slightly different arrangement if the elements to make it more rectangular.

    Please feel free to use these images on your own blogs with links to http://whiteribbon.ca/ to help show support.

    Here are the images: http://imgur.com/a/9uRyM

    Every bit of awareness helps.

  11. As the others have said, you have our support, stay human [;D] and even though some of us spent a good part of our time filled with rage and questions to the world; know that we only wish you great things as you are a greater part to how many of us got started and will continue to learn from your wisdom. You’re in my thoughts and otherworldly wishes.

    Jeff, AKA Tekrahkshi

  12. I wish you a all the best during your recovery, hoping that the support from the gold making community and beyond keeps coming and can make a difference.

  13. For anyone who is short on cash and can’t offer any monetary contributions consider joining the facebook page and taking the pledge on The White Ribbon to show your support!

    Join the campaign on Fb.
    https://www.facebook.com/group.php?gid=2211231823

    The Pledge
    http://whiteribbon.ca/pledge/

  14. There’s nothing wrong with being shattered when you have so many people to help you glue the pieces back on. Feel free to break, we’re here to catch you when you fall.

  15. I am so sorry to hear this happened to you. My heart goes out to you, and I wish you a swift and smooth recovery, both physically and mentally. The Azeroth community is here for you.

  16. “You gain strength, courage and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, “I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.” . . . You must do the thing you think you cannot do.”

  17. I’m not usually a “gold blogger”, but I’ll be posting a white ribbon tomorrow over at The Annas. I found your links through Misaweha and Furiey and the Apple Cider Mage and I’ll do my best to pass them on.

    There is no right or wrong way to heal from this kind of hurt – so do whatever you feel, in your gut, you need to do. If that’s open today and closed tomorrow, that’s fine. However you process it is up to you. Healing is, as they say, an inside job. It’s up to everyone else to support that.

  18. You’re in my thoughts and wishes. Be awesome, you always have been and even though in some way shouldn’t I only wish swift vengeance in some way that I can’t explain. Be safe and be whole again. You have our support.

  19. I heard of your story from Twitter via one of the WoW Insider writers. I don’t know how to play the AH to save myself. But as a fellow WoW player, blogger, and rape survivor, I just wanted to let you know you have another person cheering for you in your corner.

    The greatest victory you can claim over your attackers is to *live*. Don’t give up. Stand and continue living a good life. That’s how they know they won’t and *can’t* keep you down. You can do it. Everything is not okay, but it will be. You do whatever you need to do– cry, scream, get angry, throw things, anything– and you take as much time as you need. And you *live*.

    /hugs and /salute

    • I posted my own sort of White Ribbon on my blog. I wasn’t sure if you wanted me linking your blog along with everything– it’s your story and I didn’t want to usurp your right to tell it. If I do have your permission to link your blog in my post, I will gladly and happily go back and update it, because I’m all for gathering more people to show their support of YOU! :) as well as the White Ribbon Campaign itself. Anyway… here’s my White Ribbon: http://mommyjenkins.wordpress.com/2011/11/18/one-of-our-own-white-ribbon/

      More /hugs

  20. I am deeply saddened to hear about your horrific experience, and wish you the best in your recovery. No one should ever have to go through what you did. Be well and I best of luck with the healing process.

  21. You’re an inspiration, Alyzande. Please remember, you’re a beautiful person and we love you.

    Hang in there, and don’t hold back any emotions.

  22. *gentle hugs*

  23. I were not awares of yer blog until today, gold not bein’ me passion. I’s very saddened fer ta hear of what has happened to you; should not happen ta anyone, ever. Is a day late, but has a ribbon and the linkage up on me blog now.

    I wish you all the strength in the world fer yer recovery.

  24. We at Flavor Text also would like to add our support for you and our voice to those who have already spoken. What happened to you is in no way acceptable. You are allowed to cope however you see fit. We wish you strength, and will add whatever of our own we can to bolster you. You are loved, and you deserve to live beyond this–and to live well.

    http://flavortextlore.wordpress.com/2011/11/17/glass-houses-on-alyzande-and-rape-culture-in-azeroth/

  25. It’s good to hear that you are on the mend and as other’s have said, you have support.

  26. Broken mind, broken body, yet you remain. They cannot harm you. You are strong.

    They are beneath your contempt, they are beneath your anger, they are unworthy of your thoughts.

    They are forever marked. They know. You know. God knows.

    Justice comes for all. In this life or the next.

  27. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

    Much love,
    Misha

  28. I will pass the White Ribbon campaign all over my social media outlets. Hang in there. Hold on. You are LOVED and you will get through this.

    *hugs*

  29. As a close relative of a rape victim, I was a bit annoyed by the “you’re such a strong woman”-style comments on earlier posts. I am glad that you chose not to put up a tough front.
    My relative was completely shattered (mentally). And she did the right thing. She let it all out… crying, cursing, throwing stuff around. But she also soaked it all in … all the love, caring, (yes, also pity), family, friends, soul food, ice cream, cigarettes and the medication. Now she is whole again. Or at least whole enough to lough and live again.

    All the best!
    -O

  30. God Bless you, I am sorry for the pain you are going through, no one deserves to suffer as you do.
    I hope your future is bright loving and warm.
    I wish I could say something to erase the past

  31. No one deserves to go through what you have endured.

    Thoughts and prayers are sent your way

    Epidermuss

  32. No one should ever go through what you have done, ever for any reason.

  33. I don’t really follow your blog (yet) but I do regularly check out whatever UnderMine Journal highlights – and today it was a swathe of White Ribbon – Heart of Gold. In reading your post I felt profound anger at whichever assholes did this to you any of the times that it happened. I know (too many) strong women that have survived similar incidents and hope that you too find the strength and voice to shine on nonetheless like they do.

    /salute

  34. With much love do we, the gold blog reading community (and occasional bloggers) support you. Take care, rest, recover, cry. yell, swear, and take heart knowing you’re well loved.

  35. Hey Alyzande,

    All of us on The Chaos Stream are wishing you well. Horrible thing that you endured and no one under any circumstances deserves what you went through. Hoping you and your family all the best!

  36. Credit goes to Kathroman @ The Consortium for putting all this together.

    @Alyzande/TGQ – I edited in the links for you in the post. Thanks to Flux that took the time to organize the links on his site first.

    • I added a few more to my list I didn’t have yet (from your list and twitter). Current post count is 17.

    • Thank you Oli, thank you Flux.

  37. While I don’t have a blog with a white ribbon to show… you do have my support for however you choose to be. I have experience with supporting a rape survivor. Things will be very tough for you, but you have taken the first step… allowing yourself to be helped. Concentrate on that and take one day at a time.

  38. Hey Your Still alive and kicking and that good enough for me ,keeping go on your journey

    Sam

    AKA Zoxy

  39. There is no right or wrong way to act after such an incedent.
    We keep you in our thoughts and prayers.

  40. /Me Point finger to Khatroman, He did It, he is the mastermind, now more serious, everyone was amazing helping out, everyone was a piece of this GOOD we try to today, everyone give there best to get this done today.
    It just shows that we sometime can do good. Even if we are all strangers in real life but we try to do a positive thing today.

    Alyzande Heal well, there are people that care for you, even that we never meet, you are not alone, at least not Virtually on the web, you have all this people cheering for your fast recovery, and remember there is a Full Auction house out there still waiting for you .

  41. Looks like my original comment is still under moderation (as expected – there WERE like 10 links in it, and I’m clearly a spam-bot :p )

    Basically, it said:

    “I’m not sure that we’re as proud of ourselves as we are proud of you, for your bravery and resilience. Also, it wouldn’t be fair for anyone to take credit for what happened today – we ALL did what needed to be done. ;)

  42. Apologies for my original post with the C-C-C-C-Combo Breaker! title. (Fixed now.)

    Power Word: Gold’s small contribution: [White Ribbon] – Heart Of Gold (http://www.powerwordgold.net/2011/11/white-ribbon-heart-of-gold.html)

    (*Points finger at Kathroman* “He did it!”)

  43. Kathroman from The Consortium first mentioned the idea and started gathering interest. We all spread out looking for people interested in being involved and have been in correspondence with each other.

    Kathroman, Sinshroud, Sterling, Xsinthis, Oligopoly, Fluxdata, Stede, Cold, Wes, Breevok, Alto, Wragstoriches, and Alberthus were the main people involved as far as I remember.

  44. You have our unwavering, support, Alyzande; however you choose to be – strong, open, broken – whatever. We’re here, as a community, with you.

  45. It wasn’t in a bar. And my boyfriend in Serbia only left me for 2 hours. Who socializes and makes friends on holiday? Friendly people.

    Anyone here also on my fb? They can witness they’ve seen the police report with my name on.

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